Maybe
by writerchic16
Summary: [NOT for clana fans!] [AU Reckoning] Clark appeals to Jorel for help…and is shot down. MAJOR Reckoning spoilers.


Maybe 

AU Reckoning

Summary: Not for clana fans! AU Reckoning Clark appeals to Jor el for help…and is shot down. MAJOR Reckoning spoilers.

A/N: Okay, how ticked were you when you saw Reckoning? I mean, Lana DIED! She was dead, gone forever! But then they BROUGHT HER BACK! Why, why would they do such a terrible thing! And then to add insult to injury, they kill off Jonathan! I LIKED him! That was just… MEAN! I am so tempted to not watch the show anymore, but I saw the spoilers and they look really good and pretty much un-centered (is that a word?) around Lana…

Sorry, had to vent. This piece is also in the memory of Jonathan Kent, and may Lana eventually die another horrible death….

FYI, I only saw the episode once, so I'm paraphrasing. Besides, it was really only a bunch of "I need to save Lana" junk…

* * *

Clark stood in the Fortress of Solitude, a little unsure of how he got there. All he remembered was running to save Lana…and for once not making it in time. The flipped-over car, her body laying in the road, his father holding him back – and then he was here. He guessed maybe whatever rational part of him was still intact figured that the best way to solve his problem was to go straight to the source. 

"Jor-el!"

The deep voice filtered into the ice cave. "What is it, my son?"

"You know why I'm here!" Clark accused, not bothering to keep his temper down. "And stop calling me your son! No father would kill the girl his son planned to marry!"

"Kal-el, you are sadly mistaken. _I_ am not the one to be blamed for your misfortune. You directly disobeyed me when you chose not to return for your training."

Clark was confused for a second, but was determined not to let it show. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Kal-el, don't you see?" Jor-el's tone was almost pitied, but not quite. "By ignoring my wishes you indirectly gave up your right to have a say in any of the decisions I happen to make."

"That makes no sense!" Clark argued.

"Maybe to you, but that is not of my concern. Besides, I really had no control when it came to exchanging your life. It your destiny to be brought you Earth, destiny to be raised in a small town in Kansas, and it your destiny to be someone greater than you are now."

"But why Lana?" Clark demanded, swallowing the huge lump in his throat. "It was finally alright between us. She knew my secret, she was fine with it, and she agreed to marry me."

"I understand your anguish, but there is really nothing I can do. And think about it, Kal-el. Would you rather someone else you love take her place? Perhaps either your adoptive mother or father?"

Clark paused at that. As much as he hated to admit it, Jor-el did have a point. He loved Lana with all his heart, but…"I just wish it could have been different."

"I am sorry, my son. You may not believe it, but I am. Despite what he has probably told you, Jonathan Kent and I do have something in common. We have your best interest at heart."

The statement was intended to be comforting, but Clark was only more depressed than before. _It figures. I've been through stage one; anger. Now let's give a big welcome to stage two; grief _"Yeah, thanks"

* * *

The ground was freezing cold, but then, what else could he expect in late January? It had started snowing an hour ago, but Clark couldn't work up the energy to drag himself inside. It was amazing how much harsher the world was when the love of your life wasn't in it. The lights from the hospital behind him were glaring; the beeping of the cars' horns hurt his ears. Even the blond hair of his best friend next to him seemed to be brighter than usual. 

"Clark, she's in a better place," Chloe consoled, her arm around his shoulders. "She doesn't have to deal with…_this_ anymore. She's in a world free from stalker meteor freaks and the like."

Clark shook his head, sending snowflakes flying from his hair. "I know, but – "

"You can't help feeling that it's all your fault," Chloe finished for him. When he gave her a look, she shrugged. "I think everyone in Smallville knows your habit of wallowing in guilt."

"You don't get it, Chloe," Clark protested. "This time it actually was my fault. If I hadn't been rescued by Jor-el…"

"What?" Chloe gasped. Then her eyes widened. "That explains the whole resurrection thing, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but there was a catch," Clark informed her. "If Jor-el saved my life, someone I loved would have to sacrifice theirs."

Chloe glanced down, not able to match his gaze. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

Clark's shoulders sagged under her arm. "I don't know…I was afraid, maybe. Afraid that if I opened up any more you would be the first person on Jor-el's hit list. Turns out I was right…but instead of you…"

"It was Lana. When you told her your secret, you bridged that gap and…" Chloe wiped at a tear that threatened to fall with her free hand. "You couldn't have known. You wanted to finally open up and be happy for once."

Clark scoffed. "And look where that got me. She didn't deserve this, Chloe. We…we were just beginning our life together. We were going to get married, get our own place, have kids…"

"Maybe…maybe it's best not to think about what could have been, but what…was," Chloe offered awkwardly. "Sure, you and Lana had your fights, but there were good times, weren't there?"

"Yeah, I guess," Clark conceded, attempting to remember a time when Lana wasn't trying to get him to tell her his secret. "At least she knew the truth before…before. We had those few blissful moments when everything was clear between us and she trusted me completely. And then my stupid mistake had to ruin it all."

"Clark…" Chloe directed his chin with her hand so that he met her gaze. "I was Lana's best friend, and I'm not blaming you for this. Take the hint." They embraced, but separated when they heard footsteps.

"I think that's Lois." He started to protest when she rose from the sidewalk curb, but she put a finger to his lips. "I was going to go inside anyway. It's like ten below out here." Giving him a quick smile, she passed her cousin en route to the hospital waiting room. "Go easy on him, okay?"

Lois raised an eyebrow. "I'm not that insensitive. We've verbally sparred constantly since the day we met, but I'm not one to kick a guy when he's down."

"Just making sure," Chloe clarified, continuing through the door.

Hesitating before advancing, Lois took in Clark's pathetic form. He was hunched over, his black trench coat making him appear even more bulky than he was. His head was down, and as Lois was observing, he pulled something out of his pocket. _Oh my God…they were engaged? I must have been so busy with the senator race I didn't notice._

"Hey, Clark."

Turning around, Clark kept the ring firmly in his grasp. "What happened? I was getting used to my nickname."

Joining him on the curb, Lois shrugged. "It didn't seem like a 'whatsup, Smallville' moment."

Clark nodded. "Yeah. So you heard about the accident?"

"Please, who hasn't?" Lois' demeanor toned down. "I'm…really sorry. I haven't known Lana as long as you all but…I could tell she meant a lot to you."

"More than that." Clark's gaze fell to the ring.

"Right." Lois wanted to kick herself for some unknown reason.

"The hospital gave it to me," Clark explained, as if she had asked her question. "Along with the other jewelry she was wearing. I told Mom to take the bag it was in but…I couldn't just leave it there…"

"Sh, it's okay," Lois moved her hand in circular motions on his back, trying to help him deal with the tears that were suddenly streaming down his cheeks. She couldn't resist feeling slightly uncomfortable watching Smallville, the strong manly farm boy break down. Deciding a temporary change of subject was necessary, she informed him, "Your dad said to tell you that he had to leave for a few minutes. His party is still in full swing, and people were starting to demand that Mr. Kent show his face. He didn't want to – "

"I know. He's the senator now. Appearances have to be made." He wasn't being sarcastic. Clark honestly knew that the world didn't stop rotating on its axis every time a person died. "Anyone else in there?"

"Her aunt…Nell, I think her name was?" Lois shrugged.

Clark nodded, then initiated a staring contest with the car opposite him.

Lois sucked in a breath, then let it out slowly. "Clark, everything's going to be fine."

"How can you say that?" Clark retorted, his anger showing for a brief second. "You don't know that for sure."

Lois tilted her head. "You're right, I don't." When he raised an eyebrow, she continued, "What I do know is that we're here for you. Me, Chloe, and your parents will always be around. And, in my book, that means things are going to be fine."

Clark held her gaze for a long minute. He would have protested, but she looked so earnest that he found it hard not to believe her. "Thanks, I think I needed that."

"That's why I said it," Lois smirked. "Perhaps you're not ready to hear this, but…there will be another Lana."

"I wasn't ready to hear that yet," Clark snapped.

"No, listen," Lois pleaded calmly. "Everyone's had their heart broken once or twice. Immediately afterwards it's like the world came crashing down and you're the sole survivor."

"It's not the same. She died, Lois," Clark reminded her.

"Yes, but it's the same effect," Lois pointed out. "But it's not like that, Smallville…" He smiled for a brief second at the nickname. "Lana will always be in your heart, but eventually you're going to have to make room for someone else. Now I'm not suggesting you go off and hook up with next woman you see. You need a grieving period. After the funeral tomorrow, go home, put on those flannel pajamas you love so much and eat an entire tub of choco-chunk ice cream. Hell, if you want, I'll be right there beside you, spoon in hand. It may take a while, but you'll find not Lana's replacement, but someone who'll make you happy for the rest of your life. You never know, Smallville – she could be right under your nose."

Wiping away a tear that had trickled down the bridge of his nose, Lois grinned. "See ya inside. I agree with Chloe – it's a subzero freezer out here."

Clark watched her leave in amazement. The taunting, annoying Lois Lane had abruptly turned into a comforting close friend. Suddenly he was feeling much better. Of course, his heart was still heavy. He probably would never be able to completely get over Lana. But… maybe Lois was right. Maybe his world didn't come crashing down.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so it didn't come out to be the Lana-bashing I hoped it would be, but I tried. I really wanted it to seem realistic, like it could be in an episode. And, as much as we would like to think so, Clark wouldn't say, "Alright, Lana's dead. So what? Lois is looking pretty hot over there…" Again, I tried. 


End file.
